Refresh My Memory
by spottedhorse
Summary: Sir Anthony Strallan has proposed to Edith and that night Robert and Cora have a little chat.


I so love these two. And I just wanted to thump Robert up side the head when he let his eyes wander. I am so glad he was not allowed to ander too far down that path. I do hope you enjoy and will let me know what you think after reading.

* * *

They sat in bed, side by side as had become their custom. He was reading and she was watching him. She loved watching him, especially when his mind was working through some complex something that he read. She knew when he stopped reading, when his focus changed. Most would think it was the lack of movement in his eyes but she knew differently. It was the tiny smile fighting at the corners of his mouth.

Finally he closed the book and looked at her, that inquisitive, happy look that had all but disappeared through the War. It thrilled her that it was back, that he was back. "Whatever are you staring at?" he asked, bemused.

"You," she answered softly.

"But why?" he wanted to know.

She felt the smile that crawled across her face and watched as he mirrored it. "There is nothing I'd like to stare at more," she purred.

Tilting his head, he looked at her, even more perplexed. "Oh?"

"Yes…oh," she said as she snuggled closer. He lifted his arm to let her curl closer and then wrapped her in his warmth, his hand trailing down her opposite shoulder. They remained like that for a few quiet moments, content with the comfort they found in one another.

Finally, she broke the silence. "So was it difficult… convincing Sir Anthony to come around?" she asked.

A broad grin broke out over his features. "Not really. Edith had done quite the job of setting him up. Once I understood my role, it was simple enough….and actually quite amusing. Poor chap was quite flummoxed."

She chuckled softly. "Well, I'm glad I didn't have to resort to such tactics when we were engaged."

Her soft words plucked a sore chord in his heart. "My dear, you know that I…"

Placing her hand gently on his chest, over his heart, she stopped him. "I know. It took you awhile to come around; but you did. I've been quite pleased with the results, I might add. I hope Anthony will make our Edith as happy as you've made me."

Another raw chord was struck in his heart. "Cora…"

"Oh, I know we've had our differences…and the War was just….well, it took a toll, didn't it? I know it did on you."

"You were quite marvelous," he praised. "Took everything in hand and ran the house as if you'd been doing it for years."

"Well Robert, I have," she teased.

"Yes, yes, but not in that way…not with a house full of recovering men. It…bothered me, you know. You seemed to have such purpose and were so good at it. I, on the other hand, felt quite useless…out of my element."

"Oh Robert, don't be silly. You were quite helpful. I know you wanted to go with your regiment, but I don't think I could have survived it. Having you here made me able to do what I did."

"You would have survived," he stated frankly.

She shifted so that she could look at him properly. "Survived perhaps. But only just. I can't imagine my life without you in it," she said ever so soulfully.

Robert looked into her worried eyes and felt another pang in his chest. She knew he was keeping a secret; he was certain of it. He took a deep sigh and forged ahead. "I was a bit lost, you know. I didn't quite know where to fit in. I…I…well, I lost sight of what is most important to me."

"Robert?"

When you were sick…after the words with Sybil over her…Branson, I was feeling so…broken. I did something I shall always regret and …"

"I know," she said quietly, her entire being seeming to shrink.

"You know?" he asked, looking at her in surprise and not a little fear.

"These walls are not as thick as one might think," she said sadly. I awoke briefly and heard you and…her."

"Cora, I am so sorry. I was a fool and will regret it for the rest of my days."

"What if Bates had not come to the door?" she asked fearfully.

He sighed. "I fear I would have made the biggest mistake of my life…not that what I did do wasn't bad enough."

"Was she…no, I shouldn't…" she said as she looked away.

Robert reached across to her and with his finger under her chin, turned her head back to face him. Looking into her heartbroken eyes, he saw the damage he had done. And he felt so foolish. "Ask me whatever you need to ask. But first know this, you are my life. You and you alone hold my heart. Jane was…a foolish attempt at recovering something…I'm not even sure what. I just felt so lost and…and her interest made me feel…needed. It was a fantasy sort of thing and it was so foolish because, you see…I rather like our reality. It made me sick when I realized what I had almost done. No one has touched my heart the way you have done. You said you would only just survive without me; well, I know I wouldn't survive at all without you. In an odd sort of way, that night with Jane reminded me of all that. I love you my darling, and I hope you will forgive me in time."

She looked into his eyes for a long time, her own filled with tears. It tore at him to see her looking at him so. "Robert, I do love you and I have already forgiven your transgression, in part. But you must assure me that if ever you have other such feelings, you will come to me. If you are feeling lost, then let us feel lost together."

Tears sat in his eyes as he soaked in her forgiveness. "Oh my love," he exclaimed as he pulled her to him.

"You know, with Mary and Edith both soon to be married I am going to have to have a little chat with them," Cora said mischievously.

"A chat?"

"Yes, you know the one…what they should expect on their wedding night" she taunted.

"Oh." Robert didn't like to think of his daughters like that.

"Thing is… it has been so long since I was a new bride, I'm having difficulty remembering what it was like. Suppose you refresh my memory?" she said, looking up at him with twinkling eyes.

Amazed at her recovery from his devastating misbehavior, he looked at his wife in awe. "You really are a most amazing woman," he said gently. Then he leaned forward to kiss her; a kiss that meant ever so much more to him since that danger fraught kiss with Jane. "Oh Cora, I do love you with all my heart," he whispered as be began to show her just what that meant.


End file.
